Twilighters Make me LAUGH

^{WARNING: THIS MIGHT OPEN YOUR EYES AND MAKE YOU FACE REALITY!}</sup></u>


An obsessed twilighter tries to make Voice of Sanity- A.KA VOS see why twilight is so amazing. Be warned; Voice of Sanity can be cruelly honest and overbearingly sarcastic.



Twilighter: Edward Cullen is so hawt! I’m going to marry him!!

VOS: So Stephenie Meyer liked to inform me every other sentence. And good luck with that. No really.

Twilighter:Bella loves Edward so much!

VOS: What the hell is wrong with this chick, honestly? Her head must have been so damn empty before meeting Edward since he’s literally all she thinks about. Personally, I think she needs help.

Twilighter: Edward has always been watching her cuz he like loves her so much! How KEEE-YUUTEE!!

VOS: Stalking is illegal in all fifty states.

Twilighter: Edward loves Bella so much!

VOS: Edward fit’s the profile of a mentally and emotionally abusive boyfriend down to the T. How is that romantic? Fucking tosser.

Twilighter: Twilight is just as- if not more- romantic then Romeo and Juliet.

VOS: You. Are. Offically. An. Idiot. Did you actually even read that play? It wasn’t even a romance. It’s a tragedy. It’s about their stupidity not their love life. I can take a wild guess that you didn’t pass English. And for a moment I thought you couldn’t be any more stupid. Ha. Ha.

Twilighter: Edward is the hottest, sexiest vampire alive!

VOS: Hmm…no fangs, drinks animal blood, can control his blood lust, practically invincible, sparkles;  That’s not a vampire. That’s a…a…a…actually I don’t even know what the hell that is. You’re a disgrace to humanity for thinking that is a vampire. Go fucking kill yourself. For all our sakes.

Twilighter: Edward is so pure! He’s a virgin AND he waits until they are married before doing her!

VOS: Oh I don’t believe this shit. Just die already.

Twilighter: It’s so cute that Jacob fell in love with Bella’s baby!!

VOS: ………..Are you a serious? You’re joking right? This has to be joke. Jacob is officially a member of The Werewolf  Pedophile/ Child Rapists Association of America. That’s not cute. That sick. And disturbing. I needed my brain cleaned after reading that. You scare me.

Twilighter: Twilight is so ROMANTIC!!

VOS Why the hell are you throwing that in my face again? Listen. It’s a romance based completely off lust and smell. There is no way they fell in love with each others personalities considering the fact that they have none. I mean god that’s just creepy.

Twilighter: Twilight is so complex!

VOS: How can you kill a poor tree to create 400 some pages of plot-less crap? This is Twilight. Watch how quick I sum it up;
Bella becomes obsessed with an asshole whose eyes change color.
Edward saves Bella from being crushed by a car.
She realizes Edward is a vampire.
She faints after being kissed.
They play baseball.
She gets her leg broken by a sadistic vampire.
They go to prom.
Wow I just summed twilight up in like seven sentences. Wow. Just wow. That’s fucking complex. Mind blowing. The back of a cereal box has more of a plot than twilight. And I can eat what’s inside of it. Cereal box PWNS twilight. Hands down. AND sometimes I get a free toy. So screw you twilight.

Twilighter: Stephenie Meyer’s is the best writer ever!!! Like OMG!!

VOS: *Shakes head sadly* And I bet you think the Jonas Brothers actually play rock music. Die bitch. Seriously. Just. Die.

Twilighter: OMG I HATE YOU BITCH FOR NOT LIKING TWILIGHT! LET ME THROW ACID IN YOUR FACE AND STAB YOU AND BREAK YOUR BONES AND WATCH ME STALK GUYS THAT I THINK ARE EDWARD AND I MIGHT EVEN COMMIT SUICIDE!

VOS: Just because I enjoy a good case of irony please beat yourself to death with a copy of twilight. But wait until my popcorn is done. Watching you be an idiot makes me hungry.

You lose.